[LISA] No Ka Oi (morning_stand) wrote,
[LISA] No Ka Oi
morning_stand

LJ Idol - Week 7 - Feckless

I live in a home with two people with ADHD, one person with ADD, and two people (including myself) with depression. Our daily life is HARD. Everyone is on medication. Most days, I feel like all my efforts are for naught. We've enlisted the help of therapists and doctors for everyone to help manage our mental health. Most days it seems like everyone in our home can be described as feckless. Who thought that we should be parents? Why did we decide to be parents? It was definitely irresponsible of us to have children given our pre-existing conditions.

We try to make the best of our situation. Most days, however, I want to scream and cry and run away. My weeknights are filled with screaming matches over homework, trips to therapy, monthly appointments with the psychiatrist. Every day I worry whether or not I will get phone calls from my son's school due to his behavior. My off Fridays are filled with my own therapy appointments, shopping, and self-care.

Day by day, we work on building ourselves a happy and healthy life for ourselves and for our children. On the surface, it looks like we are being irresponsible. Deep down, we are trying HARD. One day, I know that my kids will be self-sufficient and that my husband and I will finally have some clarity to look at life through the eyes of responsible people. But for now, we are managing. Still irresponsible a lot of the time, especially with money. But the right idea is there. We are working on it.

Keep going.
Every day.
Don't stop pushing.
Our kids are counting on us!
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